• Question: You seem like you are in good shape. Was wondering if you drink or smoke(cigarettes)? - Anonymous
  • Answer:

    I drink very rarely, so that I don’t start to need it just to have a good time, and smoking isn’t really my thing. I know that we all die eventually but I’d rather die from something easier than being cancer-ridden.


My God,

What have they done to my beautiful thinking place?

The marina is trashed. Destroyed. Torn apart. I almost wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get to the water. But I’m here now, and I’m listening to Into the Past from the Gatsby soundtrack (my personal favorite track, I can’t help that I’m a trance freak) and wondering what exactly it is that keeps dragging me here. I’ve got a couple of guesses.

1.) I come in the hopes of seeing Sean. Wrong. If I wanted to see him I could easily find him. Even now, even this far down the road of our separation, I can almost read his mind. I know that his car not being at the apartments (I only drove by them to get here) means he’s either at work or at the Peebles’. Given the weather, how hard it’s raining, I’d have to guess that he’s at work because rain makes him tired and anti-social. I’m a little bothered because I don’t know whether I know that because of my feelings or I’m just smart.

2.) I’m trying to relive the good nights or make sense of the ending that we had by staring at our always empty bench. I think that this may be a little closer to the truth. The only thing I think about when I come here is him, no matter where I park.

The lightning is so beautiful over the water.

Tomorrow, I’m seeing my best friend, who I finally have back. One horrendous wrong righted. Now if only I could somehow be with Sean again I’d never hurt again. That’s only half a joke.

It’s been so long, I don’t understand why I still miss him so much. I’m sure he’s long gone and over me and yet I still think of him and wonder what he’s doing and what he’s really thinking under all that pompous perfect Christian facade. I’m not bitter anymore, or angry, but I know he’s wearing a game face at church for sure- I know him and I can tell when he’s putting on a show. I wonder who he’s trying to fool. I hope nobody’s hurting him for who he really is. I hope nobody’s telling him that that act he’s putting on is better than what he’s really like, because it isn’t. Yes, he’s flawed and angry and imperfect and depressed, and that’s part of what made him so beautiful to me. That’s part of what made it so easy to fall in love with him. He was a Christian that wasn’t trying to be perfect in the beginning. He was just being himself. He showed me that you don’t have to pretend to be perfect in church, and now he’s doing the exact opposite.

I don’t really know him anyone but I feel like I still do and I’m scared of him, because he means so much to me still and therefore has ridiculous sounds of power over me, and I’m scared for him, because other people mean much more to him now and have power over him. Someone has to be convincing him that what he’s acting like is right.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am just obsessed. But I don’t feel like I am. I’ve been obsessed before and this isn’t the same. I just love him and he doesn’t love me and it isn’t fair but I don’t think that makes it obsession. In so many ways he was perfect for me but many of those ways backfired.

If only I could do it all over again.


I think we all know where this is going. #Grapes #In #My #Mouth


Whut. #SquallLine #PanamaCityNewsHerald

Photo Set
Photo Set




I actually just started tearing up in the middle of the marshall center lol

(via tehsoupie)

Source: sizvideos
Photo Set
Photo Set





(via covered-in-ovaries)

Source: ninepointeight


I remember in high school I was really mad at my mom for not letting me go to a friend’s so I texted my friend and said “i can’t go my mom is being a BITCH” but then to my horror I realized I had sent it to my mom

luckily I was able to get her phone and delete the message before she read it and that my friends, was the closest i’d ever come to death

Source: rexuality